Late Night

I spent much of last night chatting with an old friend. A friend I had once considered close, but as years and distance and circumstance often do, now has worn that friendship down to acquaintance. The interesting thing about this friendship was that I considered them to be one of the closest friends, and kindred spirits of my "single" past. Apparently, they did not have the same experience as I did. Though they often told me otherwise at the time. So the thoughts rattling around in my head this morning, are these: Does it really matter how much others care about us? Is more gained through the receiving of love or giving it away?
The answers I have concluded on as of today, but not limited to, are, No It doesn't matter how much another person cares for you. There is SO much more to be gained by giving love away than receiving it.
The love I gave this friend, was an example to me the depth of my heart. I truly and deeply cared, and still do, for their happiness, not the glib I hope you find happiness, but a deep aching desire for them to truly achieve their divine potential and rights. For when any of us really start to live up to our divine potential, it is a miracle. He may not have gained much from our friendship, but I did. In fact, if it was not for him, I would never have grown up enough to Love and Marry the Man I really needed. The man that has taught me more about love, forgiveness, and the Atonement of Jesus Christ, than any other person. A Real Man that has shown me unconditional love, and I have learned true charity for.
There is absolutely more to be gained by loving another than being loved by another. Love is what carries us through, it gives us the feeling that we are acceptable to the people we know. Yet the only love that we can give away that is self sustaining, truly lifting and nourishing is the love of our Savior and Heavenly Father, and when we feel that, we desire to live up to the potential we all have. As it fills us from heaven, it fills every crack, every bruise, every hole of your spirit. Then it over flows, pours out and over all our family and friends and acquaintance, eventually the world. George Albert Smith was known for that kind of love.
No, my dear friend from so many years ago, thank you, thank you for letting me grow, for showing me how much I have grown. I do not regret the care I gave you. I do not regret the pain nor embarrassment of losing someone or something I never had. For I gained a little insight into how our Savior Loves, and feels. I am truly blessed.